An Eclare Christmas

We had just gotten out for winter break.
Everyone was ecstatic… kids were running through the hallways screaming and smiling, so happy for the two weeks of no uniforms, no rules, no work…
Winter break was an even bigger deal this year due to all of Degrassi's new rules; kids hated school that much more.
Everyone was so happy for no school, so happy for sleeping in, so happy for presents, so happy for Christmas…
Except me.
This would be my first Christmas without both of my parents; my first Christmas with them being divorced.
We'd already worked it out; my mother would spend the night and wake up with me on Christmas morning. We'd open our gifts till about mid-day, and then my father would come and I'd exchange gifts with him while my mother went back to the condo.
There would be no sitting by the fireplace, all three of us, drinking hot cocoa and opening presents.
My mother and father wouldn't be sitting on the couch and watch me open gifts, they wouldn't have their arms around each other gazing at each other lovingly…
In the Bible it says that marriage is forever. And yet my parents are divorced. They don't love each other anymore. Why?
Even Darcy can't come home this Christmas; she's too busy with the Peace Corps.
This holiday season was not to my liking. Hell, I was miserable.
The only thing that kept me from utter dismay was-
"Merry Christmas Edwards." I heard him say as he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
Eli.
I turned and smiled at him despite my mood. It was hard not to smile when I saw the corners of his mouth turn up in that adorable smirk.
"Merry Christmas to you to…I guess?" I said, laughing a little. Since he's an Atheist I don't know if that's even the proper greeting…
He chuckled. "Don't worry, despite my religious views my parents and I do still celebrate Christmas in our own unique way." He said with another smirk.
I raised my eyebrows. "I have no doubt that it's unique." Honestly, Eli, Cici, and Bullfrog are just about the most unique family I can come up with.
Eli laughed. "And how do they celebrate Christmas at the Edwards' household?" He asked.
My face fell then. "What household?" I said bitterly.
Eli remembered then, and his eyes clouded with sympathy.
"This is your first Christmas with them being divorced." He said.
All I could do was nod.
He wrapped his arms around me then and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest, not moving. I was too sad.
I felt his hand reach up to play with my hair, his fingers tangling in my curls. He brushed his thumb along my cheek and then reached down to under my chin, lifting my face up so he could look into my eyes.
His eyes were dark green, practically the color of a Christmas tree, as he stared into mine.
I know he can see everything in my eyes, all of my emotions.
I can't hide anything from him, so it's a good thing I don't have to.
"I'm sorry Clare." He murmured lowly, and kissed my forehead softly. The feeling of his warm lips on my skin gave me goose bumps.
"It's not your fault." I said, since I couldn't really manage anything else.
He interlaced his fingers with mine then and started to lead me back to Morty.
Once we were in his car he turned to face me again, a smile on his lips.
"Well Clare, I know I could never make up for your parents not being with you on Christmas…but I'm still gonna try to get you a present that will heighten your spirits."
He said, grinning a little.
I smiled then too. I hadn't even thought about presents; I'd been too preoccupied with my parents.
"Eli…you don't have to." I started, but he caught me off by rolling his eyes.
"Please Clare, don't even bother with that. Everyone knows that a boyfriend has to get his girlfriend something for Christmas." He said, smirking a little.
But then he leaned closer and his joking pretense was gone. He put his hand on my knee and rubbed little circles, making my skin warm up.
"And you should know that I want to get you a gift. I want to get you something that will make-up for all you've dealt with. I want to get you something that will show you…how thankful I am." He whispered quietly.
My heart leapt and I smiled, cupping Eli's face in my hands. "Eli…" He's always so grateful, and he always reminds me of that…
Even though I don't feel like I did a lot to help him, he always thanks me, telling me I did help him. He says that without me he couldn't have gotten through therapy, he couldn't have gotten his room clean.
I was there for him the whole time, I was there for every box he went through, every piece of trash he was finally able to throw away. His room is clean now, and…it's amazing how happy it makes him. I'm so glad he's better, seeing the new sparkle in his eye….it's all I've prayed for since I found out about his problem.
"You saved my life Clare." He whispered, looking at me soulfully. I was about to burst into tears, I couldn't stand how emotional Eli would get sometimes. He smiled at me, a simple close mouthed grin, and yet it made me melt in his hands.
"I love you Eli." I murmured while knotting my fingers in his tousled black hair.
"I love you too Clare."
He leaned in to kiss me and I responded, opening my mouth almost instantly. Making out with Eli…it never ceased to thrill me.
We hadn't gone any farther than that really; he'd taken off his shirt a few times and I'd let him touch my chest with my clothes still on, but we hadn't done anything else.
Although the Hotel Eli is cleaned up and ready for business…I still haven't taken him up on his offer.
I don't know why really, we love each other; we have for a few months now. He told me he loved the night of Adam's party, and I felt the same way about him obviously.
It would make perfect sense for me to sleep with him, it's just-
I couldn't think anymore after that because Eli's tongue entangled with mine and he deepened the kiss.
I felt him groan from the back of his throat and it made my whole body heat up. He grabbed my hips and held them tightly, his thumbs digging into me as he kissed me fiercely, his warm lips moving at a steady pace with mine. I was pulling at his hair now, trying so hard to get him as close to me as possible.
I moved my hands to his shoulders as I climbed into the driver's seat, straddling his lap. He ran his hands all over my back as he finally broke the kiss to breath. I panted, my chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, as he ran his lips down my neck. I felt his tongue trace my skin and I moaned a little as he planted wet sloppy kisses on my clavicle.
He ran his lips down to my chest then, and barely hovered over it, his lips coming in contact with my body only when my chest rose with my breath. He nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck then, sighing contentedly.
I played with his now slightly sweaty hair, and proceeded to rub his forehead a little.
"That feels great." He whispered.
I rubbed his head a little more and he sighed again.
I leaned down and kissed him softly on the head.
He looked up at me then smiling at me with soft, loving eyes.
"I should get you home." Was all he said.
Sadly, I knew it was true.
We didn't talk much on the ride home, he was trying to focus on the road and I was still too high off of our make-out session.
Even though we'd been French kissing for a while now, I was still transfixed every time Eli put his lips to mine. Every single time.
I really love him, and I know he loves me.
We pulled up in my driveway and I was reluctant to get out, though I knew my mother would be wondering where I was.
I grabbed my bag and smiled at Eli.
"Well, I guess I'll talk to you later." I said.
He nodded.
I turned to get out of the car but he stopped me.
"Clare." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. He let it slide down my back and I shivered a little.
"Yes?" I asked, turning back around.
"I meant what I said. I'm gonna get you a great present. I know how upset you are about your parents…and you don't deserve to be upset on a holiday. You're too good of a person to have to deal with this."
"Aw Eli." I said, my eyes watering a little at his compliment. "It's okay, really-…"
"No it's not. Not yet. But I'm gonna make it okay. I'm…I'm gonna make this the best Christmas you've ever had Clare." He said, smiling with a determined glint in his eye.
My eyes widened. "Eli…" How could he make this my best Christmas? I was so sure that it was going to be my worst…
"Trust me Edwards." He smirked then. "The girl I love isn't going to be sad during the most wonderful time of the year."
I smirked then too. "You're such a romantic Goldsworthy." And I LOVE it…
He rolled his eyes. "What have I become?" He said in mock horror. I laughed.
"But I haven't even thought about what to get you." I said, and it was true.
He snorted. "Clare, I'm a hoarder, I don't exactly need anything new." He said, smirking.
I chuckled a little. "You're better now, remember? We cleaned up your room…you could have a few new things." I said, grinning.
He shook his head. "Really Clare, I don't want anything. I don't want to upset the balance."
I nodded then, but still wasn't totally decided on not getting him anything. I mean, I couldn't just get him nothing.
I kissed Eli goodbye and went inside, going up to my room. I laid down on my bed, now completely perplexed about the entire thing.
He said he was going to try to make this my best Christmas ever…if he's gonna do that for me, then I without a doubt at least have to give him something.
But he's right, there really isn't much he doesn't have. He kept everything he wants and needs. So…what can I give him?
What can I give Elijah Goldsworthy for Christmas that he doesn't have already that will mean something to him?
And then it came to me.
The blush ran to my cheeks as I thought of the idea but…it was an idea.
I'd just been thinking about how his room was finally clean, how Hotel Eli was finally ready for business…
Was I ready to stay at the Hotel Eli?
I loved Eli, and he loved me. He was so grateful for everything I'd done for him, and he went out of his way to do everything for me. The love was plain on his face every time he looked at me.
And I really enjoyed kissing him, I mean really enjoyed. My cheeks reddened as I thought about how much I would enjoy everything else….the only thing was, was I ready?
I thought about that.
I thought about my belief, my abstinence vow. To me, when the Bible talks about sex and marriage, it makes it sound like having sex is the equivalent to marrying someone. If you have sex you stay together forever.
My parents had sex…and look at them now. The Bible doesn't mean the same thing today as it used to back then, when sex and marriage really did mean love. But…it doesn't anymore.
What Eli and I have is a better example of love than anything my parents ever had.
And having sex…making our love physical, taking the next step…
I feel like the Bible justifies that between me and Eli. More than it does between people that get married, but don't love each other.
I think in the Bible, God tries to say that sex means love. And it doesn't with everyone, unfortunately. But with Eli and me…it will.
And in that moment I knew. I knew that having sex with Eli would be okay, and I knew that I was ready.
I know what I'm going to give Eli for Christmas.
Myself.